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More Funny Quotes

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My inbox fills up way too fast with funny texts...

"damn it! what was i going to spend my paycheck on? i have to stop doing so many drugs so i can remem.... oh yeah!! i wanted to buy drugs!!"

"there is actually cowbell in the bump song. there should be more."

"abs boy has called me 4 times since he got my number. effin right. he is hot. likes camping. likes djs. gonna be fun."

"ass like a competition champ. lets get into some real bad things."

"isn't baltimore known for some kind of toe?"

"you can't drink all day unless you start early!"

"fell down the skate ramp. laid there for a minute. hilarious. be back in a min."

"rabbits are totally appropriate sister talk."

"live every week like it's shark week!!!"


"guess whos getting a fear the deer shirt to attract single guys?"

"she and the other elephant parents were used as slaves by rhinos or something ridiculous."

"who still has their kids keeping rat tails? who decided that was alright?"

"i think Bailey (dog) is coming on to me. she won't stop winking"

"i just sent you a text telling you i like XXXX. and then i realized i sent it to XXXX. i'm an idiot."

"spank rock makes you drive faster. loves it!"

"lets get some x. go balls deep. not really though. but we can pretend."

"you do realize that with 1 fake tooth you are a step closer to being a real life pirate. now you need a parrot or a boat or a peg leg."

"i think i want a tattoo of david cross. also known as dr tobias funke."

"mom says i'm a mixer and jane says i'm a yellow."

"there are bike messengers in front of me in line at the post office. the dreads are out in full force!"

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