"your text was disjointed and poorly written. welcome to the city."

"is 'my perogative' a britney spears song. because if it is there is a guy singing and another guy beat boxing to the song at a bar in bmore."

"dude. i really like XXX. i hate that its impossible for us to be together but this beat boxer is making me forget all that."

"mick o'shea's. i think its a jewish pub..."

"he sounds hot. or at least successful... is that the same thing?"

"XXX sends her love from gracetons."

"when driving truck with trailer. hold wheel at bottom and turn towards which way to go?"

"now that rog has the most annoying ringtone i would really like the tone of a clip of dumb and dumber. think you could help me out?"

"roger says you have babar! bitch!"

"thanks again for the chemical burn. it really made my day. i hope you learned liquid nitrogen is not a toy."

"what are your thoughts on me discing my bottom lip?"

"i think i should put a disc in my bottom lip to stretch it out. its the next big fad like belly button rings or pet marmosets."

"can we teach kaya how to jump rope?" (dog)

"and eye, iya, iya, will always love you. jen is having me watch bodyguard. apparently its part of the passage to being an actual girl."

"if we go skydiving and get tattoos we are also going to have to plan a bungee jumping trip. you down charlie brown?"

"if you get glitter on you prepare to have it on you forever. because glitter is the herpes of craft supplies."

"what? i con't tolk now. i'm drunking."

"i never understood the movie twister. wouldn't those little balls of information come back to the ground and be useless? gravity? heard of it?"

good stuff.