"they are playing the lyrics of ms new booty with the music of the safety dance. could i make this up?"

"i'm watching apocalypto. Insax for loincloths!"

"when do you think ghostwriter and square one will come out on dvd?"

"why are they called firetrucks? shouldn't they be called watertrucks? or watermobiles maybe?"

"i like to play some games with the local women that come to the baseball games. the first one is 'shirt or dress?' and the second one is 'pregnant or just fat?'"

"i like to think that they're all winners but the truth is that no one can win these games."

"we've developed a game for the men as well. it's called 'pregnant, fat, or santa?'"

"text him the pic of ducky kitty with no words explaining it. if he sends back a text of ha ha's then call him and tell him about your love child with that circus fellow. that will definitely be the least awkward phone convo ever."

"gotta love the brothas basically disrupting traffic to wave at us."

"omfg! he's the one celebrity i actually want to meet! i think i might start writing letters to him."

"who the shit is kingsley zissou?"
response: "life aquatic, son! get in tha know!"

"it's days like today i wish i were a transvestite."